A dream...

Last night I had a dream with my first love. I fell in love with this person when I was thirteen years-old, and the last time we spoke was about a year before I moved to London, more than five years ago.
In my dream, I went back to the place where we met and I saw him just the way he looked like when I was 13. The funny thing is that I dreamt myself they way I am now, being a 29 year-old.
What an odd feeling. I am certain I am not in love with him anymore, but I was glad, like when you see a friend you have not seen for a long time. Still, what I felt is not the same you feel for your friends, even the best ones.
I had the same sort of dream with the second person I fell in love with, about a month ago. This happened when I was 21, when I was at University. Yet again, I am certain I am not in love with him, but at the same time I know that I regard him differently than my other friends.

This morning, after that dream, I stayed in bed for a little while (partly dozing, partly waiting for the shower to be free...) concentrating in sending good vibes to my first love... wishing he has a happy, happy life.

I remembered my mum said something like this: when you really have loved someone, this someone always has a place in you. Of course the feelings change, and probably, just as it has happened with my first two loves, you lose touch... and you don't know anymore what happens in each other lives, if that person is happy, if he has found love again... but somewhere in the whirlwind of time, there are still the nice memories.

I fell in love a third time... it is such the way it goes!... and I am alone once more. But if it all what I have just said is true, then he will always have a special place in my heart, and somewhere in the whirlwind of time the memories of the moments together will still be... he will live in my dreams and I will wake up the morning after, sending good vibes for him to have a happy, happy life.

I am enjoying the sweet and sour taste of that thought...